Within the last month, I and my brother M. have talked with Regina, the Geriatric Care Manager we'd hired to try to get my mother's life a bit more in order. She's willing to move forward on trying to help my mother file her 2006 taxes by being a liaison between the accountant and my mother (she took the full set of 2006 tax documents, which I provided her as my mother's bills are sent to my house, to the accountant's office recently. 2005 and the other several years for which my mother has neglected to file will have to wait; the documents for those years are scattered all over the place, kind of like the rest of her belongings).
However, the GCM is unwilling to try to continue to pretend that my mother is allowing her to function in any kind of a substantive manner on the logistical/medical front, which is really her main specialty. Regina told me that my mother's case is "exceedingly complicated" and one of the toughest she's ever seen. She told my brother M. that my mother was "fired" by yet another doctor (this would make at least the second; she was dropped by a Chronic Fatigue specialist in Boston a few years back for cancelling appointments, chronically and at the last minute). This time, the doc dropped her because she forged a test panel request form, ordering more tests than the doctor approved.
My mother is still living in the hotel. I'm sure the hotel management, which supported "150%" the idea of my mother working with a GCM, isn't terribly pleased that she's gone back to her rugged individualist ways. At this point, the GCM says she's willing to swoop back in and get re-involved at whatever point there's a crisis (i.e., the hotel kicks my mother out, or my mother is hospitalized on a non-ER basis, i.e., actually admitted for more than "observation"). The GCM suggests that we tell the hotel that we care, but they should call when there's a crisis; failing that, there's little anyone can do. In the meantime, the GCM really couldn't continue working with my mother, as she had not approved the GCM divulging any real detail to any of her children. Legally and ethically, it has been quite the quandry for Regina.
My mother is still injecting herself in the chest wall and stomach with procaine (the stuff that dentists use to numb your gums before they put in a larger shot of numbing medication). The drug itself isn't that dangerous, but injecting one's chest wall certainly is. She's still in pain, just as she's been on and off for years. She's been worked up for heart problems at every world-class hospital Boston has to offer (plenty), and no problem has been found. I've always suspected a pinched nerve, which would argue for her to be closely followed (hell, even assessed ONCE) by a pain management clinic, including possible PROFESSIONALLY ADMINISTERED local pain medication injections. Tra La, Tra La, Tra La...the Flowers Which Bloom in the Spring, Tra La.
The GCM also reports that my mother has gained a lot more weight. The last time I saw her in 12/05, she was already a good 60 pounds overweight, so I can't imagine where all of this has gotten to at this point.
My mother seems to have truly deflated a confident, smart, resourceful GCM with 30 years of experience in the field. It's almost as if Regina is coming from a place of rejection: "Do you think it's us?" (meaning her agency), she said. Unbelievable. Regina said that generally, problems come up because her clients' family members can't agree on a way forward --- not because the client herself rejects clearly needed help.
Regina feels that, for now, my mother is still competent. Once again quoting my friend Ilene, who is a psych nurse: "You're allowed to hole yourself up in a hotel, let your teeth rot out of your head, and live on room service, if that's what you want to do".
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