1981: turnabout is fair play

My mother's habit of winging crockery at her children when she was angry abated somewhat by the 1980s. I attribute the moderation of this behavior to the fact that she was perhaps marginally happier since she got out of her marriage to my father, which was admittedly a horror show; to the fact that she probably figured out it was an expensive habit (although I don't recall ever leaving the clean-up to her; my brothers or I generally did it, so the cost of replacing the items was her only deterrent); and to the fact that by now my brothers were over 6 feet tall, as I very nearly was as well, at this point. We were a little tougher to intimidate by now.

When I was in high school, one particular rage of hers flared up; I knew it was a bad one. I had probably done something pretty stupid this time (you know, that high school thing). But I was surprised to see her reaching for a trivet to wing at me, not only because I had rarely been the target of her tossing (that was largely for the boys), but because she just hadn't done it in awhile.

I said "So help me...if you throw that at me, don't doubt that I will throw it right back at you".

She paused, then threw it anyway, bruising my shin.

I picked it up, threw it back at her, and sent her to the ER with a wrist fracture.

She stoicly drove herself to the ER and got it x-rayed (it was only a hairline break), with no fanfare. I was half expecting her to file a police report on me, or send me for more counseling --- mandatory, this time. I've never witnessed her throw another household object since. Interestingly, unlike most perceived slights I might have made against her, she *never* brought this one up with me again. Maybe it was actually helpfully illustrative to her to see what it felt like to be on the receiving end (devoid of the ability and/or inclination to even guess at the feelings of others, perhaps she needed an actual physical demonstration in order to see it all clearly?).

I'd never thrown anything at anyone before, nor ever since. It felt *lousy* at the time. I'm not proud of what I did, but it was a first clumsy attempt at saying "you're out of line". Had I been older, I'm sure I would have reacted more peacefully. But overall, given the apparent effect of this move, maybe it was more right than wrong.